The Café Chronicles - starts Monday 6 August on Resonance 104.4 FM at 10am

The Café Chronicles, my new 10-part radio comedy series starts on Monday 6 August at 10am on Resonance 104.4FM (repeated at 6:30pm) and runs every weekday until Friday 17 August. 

Daniel Ruiz Tizon returns with a brand new series, presenting 10 x 5 daily missives from the South Lambeth Portuguese café he has holed himself up in since the summer of 2001. As the gentrification sweeping through Nine Elms and Vauxhall accelerates, The Café Chronicles documents the characters and community threatened by these changes.

It’s a world of tobacco, discarded chicken bones, faded denim, easily slighted personalities, exaggerated Mediterranean gesticulations and coffee, the glue that holds the old community together.

The Cafe Chronicles 50 x 50.jpg

 

EPISODE LISTING

Monday 6 August 2018     

Episode 1 – The Handshake

Priding himself on a firm traditional handshake, a turned ankle on his way to the café leads to what is easily Daniel’s worst handshake of the year.

Written and presented by Daniel Ruiz Tizon.

Listen: Tune into Resonance 104.4 FM or via goo.gl/E6rhgs

 

Tuesday 7 August 2018

Episode 2 – Poor Butter Coverage

Daniel locks horns with a new waiter over the poor butter coverage on his Portuguese Toast.

Written and presented by Daniel Ruiz Tizon.

Listen: Tune into Resonance 104.4 FM or via goo.gl/E6rhgs

 

Wednesday 8 August 2018

Episode 3 – The Non-Handwashing

The weekly appearance of the non-handwashing Singing Spaniard has Daniel bemoaning the reluctance among the café’s regulars to embrace handwashing after using the loos.

Written and presented by Daniel Ruiz Tizon.

Listen: Tune into Resonance 104.4 FM or via goo.gl/E6rhgs

 

Thursday 9 August 2018

Episode 4 – The Hash Brown Ring Walk

The addition of the Hash Brown to the now all-day English breakfast, and the curious manner of its standalone delivery, over-complicates the café breakfast.

Written and presented by Daniel Ruiz Tizon.

Listen: Tune into Resonance 104.4 FM or via goo.gl/E6rhgs

 

Friday 10 August 2018

Episode 5 – The Towel

The salmon-coloured socks of a laughs-too-easily customer leads to a troubling, long-suppressed recollection for Daniel.

Written and presented by Daniel Ruiz Tizon.

Listen: Tune into Resonance 104.4 FM or via goo.gl/E6rhgs

 

Monday 13 August 2018

Episode 6 – Mistaken Bald Identity

The death of a bald regular revives uncomfortable memories for Daniel of the time he mistook another bald regular for the now deceased.

Written and presented by Daniel Ruiz Tizon.

Listen: Tune into Resonance 104.4 FM or via goo.gl/E6rhgs

 

Tuesday 14 August 2018

Episode 7 – The Reward Card

Daniel looks at the difficulties the introduction of a coffee reward card in the café has caused him.

Written and presented by Daniel Ruiz Tizon.

Listen: Tune into Resonance 104.4 FM or via goo.gl/E6rhgs

 

Wednesday 15 August 2018

Episode 8 – The Head Man of SW8

The unusually hot October evening back in 2011 when the Drunken Somalian abused the café regulars is recalled.

Written and presented by Daniel Ruiz Tizon.

Listen: Tune into Resonance 104.4 FM or via goo.gl/E6rhgs

 

Thursday 16 August 2018

Episode 9 – The Lamp Post Pole Dancer

The sun brings out the Lamp Post Pole Dancer and the ensuing chaos leads to Daniel having trouble getting his latte.

Written and presented by Daniel Ruiz Tizon.

Listen: Tune into Resonance 104.4 FM or via goo.gl/E6rhgs

 

Friday 17 August 2018

Episode 10 – The Nod

A ‘nod’ introduced into his prayers by an old teacher continues to cause Daniel problems, but its presence may have inadvertently led to a thawing out of the frosty relations between our host and the new waiter.

Last in the series.

Written and presented by Daniel Ruiz Tizon.

Listen: Tune into Resonance 104.4 FM or via goo.gl/E6rhgs

Sunday 19 August 2018

Omnibus - All 10 episodes aired at 10am

The Café Chronicles - Brand new daily comedy series begins on Resonance 104.4 FM, Monday 6 August

From Monday 6 August at 10am, repeated at 6:30pm, and running every weekday until Friday 17 August, I'll be presenting daily 5-minute missives from the South Lambeth Portuguese café I've holed myself up in since the summer of 2001. As the gentrification sweeping through Nine Elms and Vauxhall accelerates, The Café Chronicles documents the characters and community threatened by these changes.

It’s a world of tobacco, discarded chicken bones, faded denim, easily slighted personalities, exaggerated Mediterranean gesticulations and coffee, the glue that holds the old community together and you can hear the 10-part series only on Resonance 104.4 FM.

The show's 10 episodes will also be repeated as a 50-minute Omnibus edition at 10am on Sunday 19 August.

The Cafe Chronicles by Daniel Ruiz Tizon Show Image.jpg

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available BUMPER Christmas Annual 2017 - Ep 200

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Christmas Eve 2017

Our little-heard host finally reaches the magical 200 mark on his one-time favourite day of the year. Featuring Channel Christmas, the once-a-year-only imaginary festive channel and a special appearance from 'The Kid'.

                 Listen to:  Available200

                Listen to: Available200

 

 

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available - Ep 199

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Thursday 21 December 2017

In the second of three shows this Christmas week (and the penultimate episode of the series), our little-heard still under-the-weather host struggles through a torrid 21 minutes.

                 Listen:  Available199

                Listen: Available199

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available - Ep 198

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Monday 18 December 2017

                        Listen:  Available198

                       Listen: Available198

In the first of three shows this Christmas week, our little-heard under-the-weather host looks at new businesses opening up on South Lambeth Road and recalls a long forgotten memory from the café.

 

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available - Ep 197

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Thursday 14 December 2017

               Listen:  Available 197

              Listen: Available 197

Our little-heard tries not to sniff his way on air through his first winter cold of the year and Channel Christmas, the mysterious annual Christmas Eve-only channel is on its way, maybe.

Channel Christmas 2017 - Get your submissions in

It's that time of year where I ask listeners to submit their programme/film suggestions for the annual Christmas Eve-only channel, Channel Christmas, that first debuted in the 2014 Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available Bumper Christmas Annual.

DRT Xmas.jpg

Your submissions can be drama, comedy, animation, something with a festive feel you'd like to see on the Channel. I need the running time, the year the show was made and your preferred Christmas Eve time slot. And if you can, let listeners know why you feel this selection would grace Channel Christmas.

Submissions either via mail Available

Or via Twitter: #ChannelChristmas @1607WestEgg

And below is the full listing for last year's Channel Christmas

Midnight – The Legend of Hell House from Stuart

01:35am – Single Santa meets Mrs Claus – David W Poole

03:11 – Number 13 – MR James by ex Kid Cop child star Danny J Smith. Now thought to be some lowly podcaster.

03:50 – 4:20 – the 1985 Fresh Field Christmas Special – A Dickens of A Christmas – submitted by ITV fan The Chin.

04:20 – 5AM - Porridge 1975 Xmas special – by Micky Boyd who curated last year’s Channel Christmas

5am – a two hour Steve Walsh block.

Begins with The Snowman.

5:30am – Father Christmas

06:00am – How the Grinch Stole Christmas

06:30am – A Charlie Brown Christmas

07:00am – 0830am – Suede shoed Billy Two Rivers 9 gives us Brave Little Toaster

08:30am – Rug Rats – The Santa Experience – the first of a double bill submitted by the still living at home half man, The Kid.

09:05 – Pinky and the Brain Christmas – the second of the Kid’s 90s cartoon double bill

09:23 – Some Christmas music. The official video for East 17’s Stay Another Day, their moving 1994 Christmas song.

09:28ish – Me and my bouffant telling you what’s coming up the rest of the day on the channel.

09:30 – 10:30am – Only Fools and Horses Christmas Special – Time On our Hands – nominated by Sandra.

10:30 – 11:30am – The World’s Strongest Man – a joint submission from Steve Walsh and Paul S Davies

11:30 – 12:30 pm – California Fever, submitted by Bark Pamphlet

12:30pm – Top of the Pops 1987 Christmas special – Chrissie Plummer

13:30 – Bernard and the Genie – Drink Me for free

14:37 – 15:00hrs – a Tom and Jerry triple bill, which includes a Christmas episode.

15:00 – 17:00hrs – Nectar Points King Paul S Davies with a ruinous for the schedules film, You’ve Got Mail.

17:00 hrs – West Wing – a festive episode from the show’s second year – that’s from Nick Bryan.

18:00 – 18:55hrs – The World at War – Pete Domican – Operation Barbosa

18:55hrs – a 5 minute Johan Cruyff montage

19:00hrs - The Good Life Christmas Special . 1977 – from Crimson Avenger

19:30 – 20:15 – The Likely Lads 1974 Christmas Special from Stuart

20:15 – Steptoe and Son Christmas Special – also from 1974. From Micky Boyd. Its 42 minutes running time caused us some scheduling problems which were filled up with the toilet seat papering attempts myself and Micky make in 2010 in both SW8 and SW1. They can be found here at danielruiztizon.com

21:00 – Atlanta – Jon Horsley

21:30 – It’s A Wonderful Life - Charne

23:40 – A silent film. The Laurel and Hardy Christmas short – Big Business.

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available - Ep 194

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Monday 4 December 2017

Our little-heard host gets the long johns back out as the temperature in southwest London plummets. Meanwhile, continuing his cash point machine war with the Nine Elms Monster, the latte ponce also gets caught up in a spectacular hygiene fail and does his best to avoid The Man's further attempts to engage him with Christmas.

 

 

Listen to ep 192 of Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Monday 27 November 2017

Our little-heard host looks back at a week that saw his anecdotes tailing off badly, fights off The Man’s early attempts to engage him in the festive season and walks the back streets of Westminster with a packet of 38p Lidl shortbreads.

 Listen:  Available192

Listen: Available192

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available #190 here

Monday 20 November 2017

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Episode 190

Our little-heard has a challenging incident in a lift, talks about the horror of leaving-dos and speculates as to how an earlier commitment to The Man might’ve changed the way his life turned out.

 Listen:  Available190

Listen: Available190

 

 

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available #187 here

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Thursday 9 November 2017

Our little-heard host visits Spanish Kanu, there’s a Urinating Man of SW9 (not to be confused with the still AWOL Urinating Dwarf of SW8) sighting and The Not So Secret Diary of The Kid, Aged 30 ¼ returns.

 Listen here:  Available 187

Listen here: Available 187