The Café Chronicles - Brand new daily comedy series begins on Resonance 104.4 FM, Monday 6 August

From Monday 6 August at 10am, repeated at 6:30pm, and running every weekday until Friday 17 August, I'll be presenting daily 5-minute missives from the South Lambeth Portuguese café I've holed myself up in since the summer of 2001. As the gentrification sweeping through Nine Elms and Vauxhall accelerates, The Café Chronicles documents the characters and community threatened by these changes.

It’s a world of tobacco, discarded chicken bones, faded denim, easily slighted personalities, exaggerated Mediterranean gesticulations and coffee, the glue that holds the old community together and you can hear the 10-part series only on Resonance 104.4 FM.

The show's 10 episodes will also be repeated as a 50-minute Omnibus edition at 10am on Sunday 19 August.

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An update on Neil

It’s been a while since I’ve posted an update on here with regards to my oldest friend Neil’s illness. Those of you familiar with my old show will know Neil’s story. For those that don’t, Neil, a father of 4 young kids, has Multiple Sclerosis and his family and friends have spent the last couple of years trying to raise the necessary funds to fly Neil to Israel for Haematopoietic Stem Cell Treatment (HSCT). HSCT is Neil’s only chance of surviving and Israel is the only country in the world that will treat patients whose MS is as advanced as Neil’s.

The original crowdfunding target was reached a couple of months ago when a donor who wishes to remain anonymous gave over £38,000 to the campaign, bringing hope to Neil and his family that he might finally get the treatment he desperately needs.  

The purpose of this post is to shed some clarity on why Neil hasn’t yet been able to fly to Jerusalem for his treatment. First of all, there is obviously the worsening political situation in that part of the world and Neil’s wife is in regular touch with the Embassy and medical tourist board regarding travel.  There is still a lot of unrest on the route from the airport to the hospital. A big problem is when Neil arrives in Jerusalem and starts the treatment, it has to continue.  It can’t be stopped or paused and as HSCT can take up to 2 months, if the political situation was to worsen out there, his family need to know what they can do.

It’s not easy for Neil in his rapidly worsening condition to travel to places without time to rest up and especially in this heat as it really drains him.  He needs time to rest and recovery from journeys. That’s why Neil will have to fly either first or business class to have use of the recliner chairs so he will be well rested the whole flight.  

I’m told that physically Neil is constantly declining. His arms are very weak and have limited movement now. Mentally, he’s drained from the condition he was diagnosed with in Christmas 2010 and while he has for so long been courageous in the face of the wicked onslaught MS has wreaked on both his body and life, is becoming scared. Many of us would’ve given up by now.

You can continue to support Neil by clicking on this link goo.gl/5hMS7y

And grateful to anyone who shares this update on social media.

Thank you.

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Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available BUMPER Christmas Annual 2017 - Ep 200

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Christmas Eve 2017

Our little-heard host finally reaches the magical 200 mark on his one-time favourite day of the year. Featuring Channel Christmas, the once-a-year-only imaginary festive channel and a special appearance from 'The Kid'.

                 Listen to:  Available200

                Listen to: Available200

 

 

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available - Ep 199

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Thursday 21 December 2017

In the second of three shows this Christmas week (and the penultimate episode of the series), our little-heard still under-the-weather host struggles through a torrid 21 minutes.

                 Listen:  Available199

                Listen: Available199

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available - Ep 198

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Monday 18 December 2017

                        Listen:  Available198

                       Listen: Available198

In the first of three shows this Christmas week, our little-heard under-the-weather host looks at new businesses opening up on South Lambeth Road and recalls a long forgotten memory from the café.

 

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available - Ep 197

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Thursday 14 December 2017

               Listen:  Available 197

              Listen: Available 197

Our little-heard tries not to sniff his way on air through his first winter cold of the year and Channel Christmas, the mysterious annual Christmas Eve-only channel is on its way, maybe.

Channel Christmas 2017 - Get your submissions in

It's that time of year where I ask listeners to submit their programme/film suggestions for the annual Christmas Eve-only channel, Channel Christmas, that first debuted in the 2014 Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available Bumper Christmas Annual.

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Your submissions can be drama, comedy, animation, something with a festive feel you'd like to see on the Channel. I need the running time, the year the show was made and your preferred Christmas Eve time slot. And if you can, let listeners know why you feel this selection would grace Channel Christmas.

Submissions either via mail Available

Or via Twitter: #ChannelChristmas @1607WestEgg

And below is the full listing for last year's Channel Christmas

Midnight – The Legend of Hell House from Stuart

01:35am – Single Santa meets Mrs Claus – David W Poole

03:11 – Number 13 – MR James by ex Kid Cop child star Danny J Smith. Now thought to be some lowly podcaster.

03:50 – 4:20 – the 1985 Fresh Field Christmas Special – A Dickens of A Christmas – submitted by ITV fan The Chin.

04:20 – 5AM - Porridge 1975 Xmas special – by Micky Boyd who curated last year’s Channel Christmas

5am – a two hour Steve Walsh block.

Begins with The Snowman.

5:30am – Father Christmas

06:00am – How the Grinch Stole Christmas

06:30am – A Charlie Brown Christmas

07:00am – 0830am – Suede shoed Billy Two Rivers 9 gives us Brave Little Toaster

08:30am – Rug Rats – The Santa Experience – the first of a double bill submitted by the still living at home half man, The Kid.

09:05 – Pinky and the Brain Christmas – the second of the Kid’s 90s cartoon double bill

09:23 – Some Christmas music. The official video for East 17’s Stay Another Day, their moving 1994 Christmas song.

09:28ish – Me and my bouffant telling you what’s coming up the rest of the day on the channel.

09:30 – 10:30am – Only Fools and Horses Christmas Special – Time On our Hands – nominated by Sandra.

10:30 – 11:30am – The World’s Strongest Man – a joint submission from Steve Walsh and Paul S Davies

11:30 – 12:30 pm – California Fever, submitted by Bark Pamphlet

12:30pm – Top of the Pops 1987 Christmas special – Chrissie Plummer

13:30 – Bernard and the Genie – Drink Me for free

14:37 – 15:00hrs – a Tom and Jerry triple bill, which includes a Christmas episode.

15:00 – 17:00hrs – Nectar Points King Paul S Davies with a ruinous for the schedules film, You’ve Got Mail.

17:00 hrs – West Wing – a festive episode from the show’s second year – that’s from Nick Bryan.

18:00 – 18:55hrs – The World at War – Pete Domican – Operation Barbosa

18:55hrs – a 5 minute Johan Cruyff montage

19:00hrs - The Good Life Christmas Special . 1977 – from Crimson Avenger

19:30 – 20:15 – The Likely Lads 1974 Christmas Special from Stuart

20:15 – Steptoe and Son Christmas Special – also from 1974. From Micky Boyd. Its 42 minutes running time caused us some scheduling problems which were filled up with the toilet seat papering attempts myself and Micky make in 2010 in both SW8 and SW1. They can be found here at danielruiztizon.com

21:00 – Atlanta – Jon Horsley

21:30 – It’s A Wonderful Life - Charne

23:40 – A silent film. The Laurel and Hardy Christmas short – Big Business.

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available - Ep 194

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Monday 4 December 2017

Our little-heard host gets the long johns back out as the temperature in southwest London plummets. Meanwhile, continuing his cash point machine war with the Nine Elms Monster, the latte ponce also gets caught up in a spectacular hygiene fail and does his best to avoid The Man's further attempts to engage him with Christmas.

 

 

Listen to ep 192 of Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Monday 27 November 2017

Our little-heard host looks back at a week that saw his anecdotes tailing off badly, fights off The Man’s early attempts to engage him in the festive season and walks the back streets of Westminster with a packet of 38p Lidl shortbreads.

 Listen:  Available192

Listen: Available192

Please Don't Hug Me - that Christmas Special rumour

Some of you, probably around eight of you I'm guessing, will have read the rumour about the long-dead Please Don't Hug Me podcast I used to do with Micky Boyd returning for a Christmas Special, a rumour put about by none other than the Modern Man himself. It's not true. Podcasting is ridiculously hard work. Most podcasters, and let's be honest, most people these days either make a podcast, or think about making a podcast, have no idea of just how big a commitment it is and I make no secret of the fact that I loathe the work involved in putting each show out there, and I'm talking as someone who's done around 500 of them.

Of course, there's little work involved if you're the front man, the Liam Gallagher if you like, doing your bit on the mic while the musicians pull everything together. You might pick up the tambourine during the instrumental every now and then, but that's as far as you go. While Micky had the tambourine in his hands for 55 episodes of our early 2010s shows, I drew the short straw and spent the long hours editing the audio, something nearly eight years on I'm still doing. It makes no sense to return to that when I have my own show taking up enough hours every week, particularly when Micky still goes no further than the tambourine.

However...

I would come back for a Please Don't Hug Me Christmas special next month, probably owing to time, something that would need to be combined with this year's Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available Bumper Christmas Annual, which also happens to be the show's 200th episode, IF listeners pledge £500 or more for us to come back for a one-off episode then all that money, every single penny, will be donated to my oldest friend Neil, a father of 4 young kids who Available listeners will be aware is battling Multiple Sclerosis and fighting for his life.

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Neil's family are trying desperately to raise £90,000 to send Neil to Israel for a stem cell transplant, his only chance of surviving MS, let alone ever walking again. If they fail to raise that money, what they have collected (currently around £37,000) will go towards Neil's palliative care and making him as comfortable as possible. You can follow Neil's battle here: @GetNeilWalking

It would be a Christmas miracle if the show were able to raise such an amount for Neil. It's a huge ask for such a tiny podcast, one that ended in 2012 at that, but an insignificant amount when you think it goes towards a man fighting to make sure 2017 isn't his last Christmas.

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If this money is pledged over the next 3 weeks via the @PleaseDontHugMe twitter account, Micky and I will look at how that money can be collected and the show will return for a one-off special for my oldest friend, and recorded with the oldest-looking 11-year-old I ever met. I will suffer that lazy bugger's tambourine-playing one more time.

Only you guys can make that happen.

 

 

Listen to Daniel Ruiz Tizon is Available #190 here

Monday 20 November 2017

Daniel Ruiz Tizon, a man on his fifth nose, is, he’d like the world to know, Available, and dissecting the minutiae of everyday life.

Episode 190

Our little-heard has a challenging incident in a lift, talks about the horror of leaving-dos and speculates as to how an earlier commitment to The Man might’ve changed the way his life turned out.

 Listen:  Available190

Listen: Available190